Eau De Muni

me: i stayed home and watched 40 days and 40 nights with patty and jimmy

lauren: what is that?

me: this terrible movie set in potrero hill starring josh hartnett and shannyn sossamen
it's a sexy romcom
where he goes without sex for 40 days
it's pretty bad
very early 2000s
like, his character works for a wacky dotcom ... and its not terribly clear what that dotcom does
and she works policing porn sites on the internet
and they meet in a laundromat and then there's a montage where they ride muni all over san francisco and totally fall in love

lauren: because riding muni around all day is so romantic

melanie: being squished into some homeless dude's armpit

lauren: delightful...or being "entertained" by the mutterings of an agitated crack addict
it's like a delicate symphony upon which burgeoning romance can float

melanie: yes and the smells the rapturous smells!
the smell of rotten chinese food and bum feet

lauren: eww
i mean: ooh..aah

melanie: which stews about in the heavy humid muni air

lauren: holy moses: gotta bottle that stuff and sell it!
chinese food and bum feet stew
for the essence of MUNI

melanie: delicious

lauren: seductive

melanie: this is how i snare a man
i smear some of that essence on my pulse points
and i stand on market street on a windy afternoon
and wait for that wonderful scent to make them to come to me
and they do...in droves

lauren: oh i know they do girl!
i was already imagining the commerical
in which you smear the eau de bum feet/chinese food
upon your pulse points
and a sexy saxophone plays in the background
the steam rises from the gutters on market street
it's foggy, but the mens can sense you, they don't need to see you

melanie: they are stumbling towards their destiny, not even knowing what it could be
working on sense and intuition
and at the end ... there i am
with my hair blowing in the wind and the bum feet smell rising off me in delicate stink lines
wafting on the breeze

...
May I also add that the Muni love scene in that movie is such utter bullshit? They're riding bus all around town, and it's all full of totally normal commuters and tourists. If you live in SF you know that that only makes up about 1/4 of the passengers on the bus. The other 3/4 are crackheads, pushy old chinese ladies, bums, skeezers, pregnant teens, junkies and tranny prostitutes.

40 Days and 40 Nights Muni Scene: (cut to 4:20..irieeee)



What it's actually like to ride Muni:






Then this guy gets on and sits on the other side of you:



And this guy busts into a sick violin jam 3 feet away:



(Yes, I made that video. OMG so talented!)