popcorn shirt fun!!

My mother and stepdad Bob finally visited me in San Francisco this past weekend for the first time. I took them to do all the typical touristy SF stuff...Fisherman's Wharf, Coit Tower, Mission Dolores, Golden Gate Park, the Folsom Street leather bar corridor, etc and they loved it. Actually, I think my mom loved it and Bob dismissed everything as being "weird." He kept talking about some dude they saw at the airport with OMG GREEN HAIR and a WEIRD LEATHER JACKET WITH PATCHES SEWN ONTO IT. I figure there has to be at least a few kids in Flushing, Michigan (my hometown, where they still live) who are into Marilyn Manson or Insane Clown Possee or whatever crap kids listen to these days that makes them dye their hair ugly colors and pierce their eyebrows (oh my god..i sound like my dad bumming on me for all that shit in 1996), so it wouldn't be too much of a shocker for them to see that kind of stuff, but I guess they just live in a different world than I do.

One thing that really made me realize this was The Popcorn Shirt.



You've seen these, right? They can be bought for like 5 dollars at flea markets and in Chinatowns everywhere. They are teeny tiny when all balled up but WAIT! IT STRETCHES TO FIT YOU WHEN YOU PUT IT ON!!! NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE OMG!!!! It's a miracle of modern science! How do they do that?

Anyway, my mom gave me a plastic bag containing the above shirt on Saturday and said 'Oh, here's just a little gag gift I got you. I thought it was cute.' Obviously she knew it was kind of a goofy gift, but when she asked 'Do you think you would wear it? I thought it would be cute for evening!" I knew she wasn't fucking around.

Turns out, the shirt was a big hit with all my friends. I busted it out at dinner that night and everyone oohed and ahhed and marvelled at it's stretchiness and versatility. I put it on to demonstrate to everyone how it worked:



Admittedly, I'm pretty small so I made Tommy try it on to illustrate how truly ONE SIZE FITS ALL it is:



Wow! Look how impressed mom and Erin are!!

I made Uno try it on. Look how sexy he looks with it coyly sliding off his shoulder:



Later that night I took it to Carousel and made my friends give it a try. Responses ranged from "Wow, this is truly amazing!" to "Ugh I used to sell these pieces of crap when I worked in Japantown."

Here's Lloyd looking fieeeeeeerrrrccccceee:



Matthew demonstrated how the popcorn shirt can also double as a floppy dog ear hat:



Kasey looked so hot in it that it fogged up my camera lens:



Michael showed us how a bowtie can really take it up that extra notch should you decide to wear it "for evening":



Popcorn shirts also make great POPCORN PANTS!



So what did I learn from this experience?

1. Popcorn shirts are awesome.
2. My mom is the cutest lady ever.